Professor Winger
by OnlyOneKitchen
Summary: “No. This is something I want to learn. NOW. I don’t want to have to wait. I want to learn how to...seduce and please a man and who better than…” She looks at him and he wishes he never enrolled in Community college.
1. Spray Tan

**A/N: This just popped into my head…it's my first time writing Community fanfic. I'm not sure where it fits into the time line…**

_**Jeff's thoughts are in italics.**_

**I do not have a beta. I apologize for any grammatical errors, etc.**

**Please, let me know what you think?**

"Annie, what on earth are you doing?" Jeff caught up to Annie on their way to the parking lot.

"What do you mean?" Annie asked innocently enough.

Jeff looks at her as if to say _are you freakin kidding me?_

Annie rolls her eyes and answers "I'm trying to look sexy." She is wearing a too-short jean skirt, a white wife-beater tank top and white pumps. She's also…tan?

"Why? I mean…you do, but what?"

"Because that's what guys like, Jeff" She said in her "you're so silly" voice. Then a little quieter she says, "Thank you."

"When did you get a tan?"

"I'm going to start wearing thongs too!"

"I guess that's an answer…wait…what do you wear now?" _Holy inappropriate, Batman!_

"And thigh highs! Men are objective and visual. They want to see tits and ass! And sexy hosiery!"

"Yes, yes they do… especially if those things are attached to an intelligent witty woman. That knows how to cook. And do laundry. And does not say "hosiery"…and did you just say "tits and ass?"

_That's hot._

"I can do that. Believe it or not, I'm a great cook and any monkey could do laundry. It's the sexual stuff I'm clueless about."

"I think you're lying. Prove it." _You are going to hell, dirty old man._

"Please…I'm not doing your laundry, Jeff."

"If that is what you thought I meant, then yes you do need help."

"You, I mean, men don't want women that are smart or… or wear cardigans. You want thigh highs and… and stilettos and breasts! All you want is breasts!"

"Well, I'm not against them…"

"I have been going about this all wrong, Jeff! I need to show off my breasts!"

"I don't know if..."

"I need to start showing off the goods! I'm so…so…prudish. I need to loosen up."

Jeff suddenly stops walking while Annie continues in the direction of their cars. It takes Annie a moment to realize Jeff is no longer walking beside her. She turns around and sees him standing between two cars, talking to himself and shaking his head slightly. "Wait, what is happening? Why do I feel uneasy?"

Annie walks back over to him and hands him her bottle of water because he looks a little pale and sweaty. "I need to have casual sex!"

Jeff chokes. He can't breathe. No, seriously…he's not breathing. He was enjoying Annie's cool delicious water when she had decided to become a whore.

"Jeff? Are you okay?!" _NO! _

He clears his throat. "I'm fine. Went down the wrong pipe." Okay so he wasn't _actually_ choking. "Is this for real? Is Abed filming us?"

Once he regains his composure he asks, "Annie, why do you think that all men want whores?"

"I don't. I mean, I don't know what they want at all! It just seems like whatever I'm doing is clearly not working. So, would you help me?" Annie asks nervously.

"I don't know if that's a good idea…I mean, maybe you should learn like everyone else; through trial, error and embarrassment."

"No. This is something I want to learn. NOW. I don't want to have to wait. I want to learn how to...seduce and please a man and who better than…" She looks at him and he wishes he never enrolled in Community college.

Jeff just stares at Annie and wonders if someone is playing a joke on him. Is she really asking him to…be her teacher? Her much older and very inappropriate teacher? Isn't this an A-typical fantasy? He is now starting to appreciate those little skirts she wears even more. NO! No, this is just wrong and he needs to squash this immediately.

"So, will you help me or not?"

"That depends…" _I'm such an asshat._

"On?" She leans in close and looks up at him through her dark lashes.

"Are there thigh highs involved?" _What the?! Oh yes, YES! That should "squash this whole thing" and not encourage her. Jackass._

"Would you like there to be?" _God, yes._

"Wow. That was very good…I think you know more than you are letting on Milady."

"Why thank you Milord! Now if I could just do that without blushing from head to toe!"

Jeff let his eyes travel over Annie's body to examine said flush. "You get that pink all over, huh? I mean…uhh, yeah, no…I think it's pretty cute when you blush." I_ would like to defile you. _

"Bunny rabbits are cute. I want to make you want to tear my clothes off! Or…someone, whoever…want to do that…with and/or to me. I mean, if I could make Jeff Winger want me, I could make anyone want me. Not that I'd want just anyone, I mean, I know you could never want me, but maybe if I…"

"STOP TALKING." _Breathe._

"OK." Annie looks down at the pavement in front of her and realizes that she has no idea where she is parked.

"Seriously, you're tan." _What? She is._

Annie laughs and it makes Jeff smile. Genuinely smile. He hasn't been able to figure out what that's about yet. She's the only one that keeps him honest and makes him care and junk. Being around Annie is…comfortable and easy. Apparently she feels the same because Annie doesn't just say words like "sex" and "thong" to anyone. Ever. So, that must mean she trusts him and feels comfortable and confident around him. This is good.

_This is so not good._

"It's a spray on. I don't have time to lounge around in the sun."

"What makes you think that you're not sexy?"

"I made someone gay!"

"First of all, you cannot make someone gay. They are or they aren't. Second, you are obviously not seeing the girl I and every other red-blooded male are seeing."

"You're just saying that to be nice and placate me."

"That doesn't sound like me."

"Yes it does, it's what you do best. "

"Placate, yes. Nice? All evidence to the contrary." He watched her fidget with her too-short skirt. "I mean it Annie, you are sexy in your own way and I don't want to assist you in changing that. The fact that you have no idea how attractive you are is what makes you so damn sexy! Any man in his right mind would want to cuddle up to that cardigan. Don't change your awesomeness for anyone." _That got away from me._

Annie looks a little taken back by Jeff's honesty. "I still want you to teach me."

Jeff sighs. "Of course you do."


	2. American Idol

**I don't own Community. **

**American Idol**

The wonderfully dysfunctional study group has convened in the library. Annie looks more tired than usual and appears to be blushing while avoiding everyone's eyes. Abed is the only one who notices. Jeff would notice if he wasn't so pre-occupied with avoiding everyone's eyes as well. Especially Britta's.

_She'll just KNOW what I did to little Annie Edison last night. _

Maybe he's being paranoid. Maybe the sunglasses he's wearing aren't ENTIRELY necessary.

"It's not sunny in here, Jeff. It's not even sunny outside." Britta says dully.

"It's the fluorescent lighting; it gives me…eye pain."

_They'll think I have a hangover._

"Maybe you should cut back on drinking during the week, Jeffrey." Shirley suggests.

_Told you._

"Annie's not dressing like a slut anymore." Abed states matter-of-factly.

"HEY!" Annie and Jeff say in unison. Jeff with a little more force than is necessary for someone who is trying to hide the fact that he had his head between Annie's legs last night.

All eyes turn to Jeff, including Annie's which are clearly calling him a dipshit and saying thank you at the same time.

_What? Eyes can say all that._

_Shit. Recover!_

"…How was everyone's night?" Jeff asks lamely.

_Dipshit._

Everyone except for Annie murmured their answers of "it was good, relaxing, etc."

"GREAT!" Jeff exclaims enthusiastically.

"Let's study, Shall we?" Annie offers.

Abed isn't so easily swayed. He has a sixth sense for this kind of awkwardness. "How was your night, Jeff?"

_Amoral. Why do you ask?_

"Uhhh…same. Good. Relaxing. All the things you guys said. I didn't…I didn't do anything. Like, nothing. At all. Just sat still and watched…TV?"

Abed quirks an eyebrow and considers Jeff's response. "What did you watch?"

_Annie have an orgasm. _

"The show with the singing."

"American Idol." Abed states.

"No, Glee." Annie interjects.

Jeff glares at the little temptress. This time HE is speaking with his eyes and they are most definitely saying, _SERIOUSLY?!_

"I mean, you like that show right?" Annie asks in a very high-pitched, screechy kind of voice.

"No he doesn't." Pierce scoffs.

Annie is going to ask Jeff about that later.

"Glee isn't on right now." Abed corrects.

"Oh! Maybe it was a re-run?" Shirley offers.

"Exactly!" Jeff is off the hook.

"Nope." _Dammit Abed!_

"It was a DVD!" Annie practically shouts and then slaps her hand over her mouth.

Troy gives Jeff and incredulous look and asks, "you own Glee on DVD?!"

Pierce laughs and says, "That is so g…"

Jeff cuts off that very inappropriate comment, "They're Annie's! I watched them with Annie while I helped her…SHE HELPED ME…write a paper. For Spanish."

"Fully clothed!" Annie yelps.

_What is wrong with her?!_

"O…Kay, maybe we should just…study." Britta offers.

"Mmm hmm." Jeff says quickly.

"I would really like that Britta!" Annie agrees.

After the group disperses, Jeff grabs Annie's arm and pulls her aside. "What in Hades Hurt Locker was that?!" _Too soon?_

"I don't know!"

"Maybe we should add the "art of deception" to the list of things I'm schooling you in?"

"Maybe."

"So what's next on the list? I figure we should just get all the "lessons" out of the way before my guilt eats me alive."

"Jeff! I told you, if you really have such a hard time "teaching me" you obviously don't have to. I know you must have better things to do with your time."

_Nope._

"Seriously? You are letting me…touch you and stuff! Why on earth would I ever NOT want to "teach you?" I don't even have to beg or…not that I EVER have to beg." He smirks.

"Okay, that's enough."

"Are you jealous, Annie?" Still smirking.

"No! I just…you won't like, "teach" a bunch of other girls while you're, you know…"

"Annie, are you asking me to go steady?"

"Shut up."

"I will only teach you, Annie."

"Thank you." She smiles that sweet smile she reserves just for him. "You know, we don't even have a Spanish paper due."

"I know. How do they not pick up on that?!"

"Maybe it was extra credit?" She asks hopefully.

_That's my girl. I mean, Thatta girl. Not mine. _

"Where was that kind of thinking seven minutes ago? Next time, we just go with American Idol, got it?"

"But you hate Ryan Seacrest."

TBC… What do you think?


	3. Pretty Woman

**Pretty Woman**

They decided to go to Annie's place. Now that she was in college, her parents had helped her find an apartment and they are paying for it. Just like they would do if she was attending a "real" college. Her parents words, not hers. So they end up going to her place because she wants to show it off.

"You don't have a what?!" Jeff's mouth is hanging open. He may or may not have moaned.

"A gag reflex. I tried bulimia in High School."

"You TRIED bulimia? What? You make it sound like a new haircut! Or smoking weed."

"As you are already well aware, I had some…issues back then. The bulimia didn't work out because I can't make myself throw up. Just another reason my life sucked in High School."

"Because the cool girls threw up in High School?" _This is so sad. I'm starting to actually GET her. And of course the bulimia thing isn't pleasant either. Also, the "back then" she was referring to was ONE YEAR AGO._

"Of course."

"Of course." He mocks. "So, this? Is going to be really easy if you don't have a gag reflex and I'm not going to lie to you Annie Edison, that admission of yours was HOT. Then it got disturbing, but still really hot."

He's currently sitting on her couch, watching her pace in front of him. She's wringing her hands together. "I was really nervous all day today about doing this."

_That's OBVIOUSLY passed._

"I know. I could tell. You slammed Pierce and Troy's heads together after they asked if you were okay because you seemed anxious. You did by the way, seem anxious. You're kind of intense."

"That's because I was. Am! And I did not "slam their heads together!"

"You didn't? I've got to start getting more sleep. Can I take a nap?" The truth is ever since a couple (few?) days ago, when Annie showed up to school all hussied up, he's been tossing and turning. And jerking off, which normally helps, but now? Not-so-much.

"Jeff! I have to perform oral sex on you!" _Jesus Christ on a bicycle this woman is going to kill me. She has no idea. NO IDEA._

"Did I already fall asleep?"

"No."

"Annie, there are not enough girls like you."

"Well, thank you! I'm going to have to bake cookies for everyone tomorrow, aren't I? I was kind of severe today."

"Want help?"

"Really?!"

"No. Do I look like I know how to make cookies? Or, _anything_."

"No." _Dammit, she's disappointed. Wait. I don't care. This is just a favor for a friend. A very twisted favor. Do not get attached. You can do this, you're not a girl._

"Alright, should we do this or?" Jeff starts to unbutton his jeans.

"If you help me bake cookies."

"Wait. What? I thought I was helping you here? You're the one that begged me with those big doe eyes-which by the way, you will need for this next task."

"I need big doe eyes to bake cookies?"

"No. For the blow job. Keep up, I'm not baking anything."

"J-Jeff! Why?!" _she actually sputters._

"You have to look at me while you do this. On your knees Edison!"_ Smooth._

"Jeff!"

"Yeah, I didn't think that would work. Look, I figured the more clinical we make this, the less it will feel like we're actually, you know, hooking up and stuff…" _lame._ "Like last night, you said you had never had an orgasm, so I gave you one. No frills, just experience."

Annie seems to consider this, "Okay, so should I sit in your lap first, or?"

_Fuck, she's adorable. I mean hot and sexy like a woman. Not AT ALL like a little girl. _

"You could do that." He drawls. She's standing in front of him and he reaches up and grabs her hips. "And it's called straddling. You'll be straddling me." He brings her down on top of him without breaking eye contact. He lets his hands settle on her thighs, which he notices are bare. He looks down to see that her skirt has risen up to her hips and he groans a little before looking back up to meet her eyes. He notices her eyelids are hooded and her eyes are dark, but somehow sparkling?

_Clinical my ass, you pussy._

"Oh…okay then." She breathes.

"You okay?"

"Are you?"

He slides his hands into her hair and brings their lips closer together. He waits until her eyes flutter close and kisses her. He puts everything into this kiss because he wants her to remember it.

_Why didn't we kiss last night? It's not like we haven't kissed before…_

She moans a little into his mouth and he's straining so hard against his jeans that it hurts.

He smirks into the kiss and Annie backs away, looking at him, "Why did we bypass the kissing last night?" she asks a little breathless and she looks, just…wow.

_Listen idiot, you will not start to feel anything for this girl other than friendship. It can only end badly. Teach her the "acts of love" as she so eloquently put it and be done with it. _

_I think I'm shaking a little. DISTRACT._

"I have no idea. OH WAIT! Now I remember!" He starts using his "Annie voice." "Jeffrey, that is too personal! Julia Roberts didn't want to kiss Richard Gere and look what happened after she did!" He drops the Annie voice and continues, "To which I responded, I have no idea what you're talking about, may she turned him gay because Richard Gere is gay-I think-and then you got really mad at me and-"

"Oh my goodness! Jeff? Are you nervous?! You're babbling."

_Fuck that shit. NO! _

_Maybe a little._

"What?! NO! I'm just…a little."

_They're going to ask you to hand in your penis and get fitted for your vagina._

"Awwww, Jeff!"

_See?!_

"NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. STOP! Just get on your knees, woman!" _Oh my god, she's going to bite my dick off if I don't remedy this…_"and then we'll make cookies."

"YAY!" _aaand I'm breathing again._

_I've secured my place in hell with fantasies alone that I have had about this…person. Might as well suck it up (I swear to you, pun not intended) and go along for the ride…_

**I don't own Community. Or Pretty Woman. Or Glee (for the last chapter). **

**I do however own Joel McHale AND Mark Salling. **

**That is a lie.**

**Tell me what you think? Please?**


	4. Teacher's Pet

The second Annie touches her lips to Jeff's little Jeff, ahem, large little Jeff, he knew he was in over his head.

_She's a natural._ _Is she French kissing my tip? Is that a beginner move?_

The way she was using her mouth on him was making him crazy.

"Ms. Edison, have you done this before?" He barely chokes out.

"Mmm-mmm" She hummed around him and slightly shook her head no. She has him all the way in her mouth and she was right about the gag-reflex. She's doing this swallowing thing that feels amazing.

"Omigod, do that some more." She hasn't really taken her big, beautiful eyes off of Jeff because he told her not to and if there's one thing that Annie is not, it's a bad student. "Use your hands some more."

_Where did the warm, wet go?_

"How?"

_Why do I speak…like, ever?_

"Well don't stop!" Jeff practically growls.

"Did you just stomp your foot?"

"Annieee." Jeff whines. _Not one of my proudest moments._

"Just tell me where to put my hands!"

"On ME! On my balls! Anywhere! I don't care, I shouldn't have said anything…just don't REMOVE YOUR MOUTH!"

"Ew, Jeff."

"Annie, you just had your mouth around my dick, but my balls are EW?"

"No, your attitude is ew!"

"OK…lesson number whatever is FINISH WHAT YOU START or there will inevitably be attitude."

"This isn't as fun as I thought it would be." She frowns and he groans because he HATES sad Annie. In fact the reason he is going along with this craziness is because she would be sad if he didn't and not at all because she's hot and he wants to. Which I guess means he really will do anything to keep Annie from making that face.

"I hate that face."

"This is my face."

"No, your face is all lit up and twinkly with hopes and dreams and stuff. I'm sorry I said anything. You were doing an _amazing_ job. I kind of don't believe you haven't done this before. I'll be quiet."

"I like the…talking." She says shyly. "Can I try again?"

_Hey Winger, get it together and stop gaping at the nice young lady. Creep. You do not deserve this._

"Annie? Have I told you that you are my favorite student?"

……….

Later that night after Jeff had baked cookies and come into Annie's innocent little mouth (not in that order); he was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, but couldn't stop thinking about the previous night's lesson. She looked so scared when he started to push up her skirt. She squeezed her eyes shut and held her breathe to brace herself for whatever he was going to do next. He asked her to please calm down and trust him and she tried her hardest to relax into his bed a little more.

When his mouth finally touched her skin it was only inside her thigh and she started shaking. He couldn't help the huge grin that spread across his face…then or now.

The way she fought to keep quiet because of the "neighbors" would be burned into his brain forever. She was squealing and squirming so much it would have been comical if he wasn't so turned on…again, then and now.

When he slid his tongue inside her, she confessed it was the single greatest feeling she had ever had. Until he replaced is tongue with 2 fingers and moved his mouth to her clit. Now THAT, she amended was the greatest thing she'd ever felt. He decided he really likes the talking.

He can't wait to be inside her.

She's nervous about that, but they both know that it's coming because it's on the schedule that she obviously typed up. He tried to talk her out of creating said schedule with sensible reasons like "paper trail" and sex shouldn't be scheduled even if they are calling them "study sessions," but this is Annie we're talking about and she LOVES schedules.

And he loves giving her what she wants.

It helps that she's not a virgin; him because that would be a whole new level of creepy and her because it won't hurt and she'll realize that it's not scary, it's fucking awesome.

He keeps replaying these thoughts and images of her over and over again. So much so that he can practically taste and smell her. So what if he didn't shower after she left last night? He definitely didn't shower tonight after their very successful "study session." He feels dirty, but he really likes it. He's most-likely going to use his silver tongue and razor sharp wit to convince her that she needs A LOT more practice.

It's definitely going to be very hard to keep this from everyone else.


	5. Mixed Race Twins

"I made cookies!" Annie announces as she enters the library. She quickly notices that everyone is there except the Professor. She's started calling him that in her head. Every time she does, she blushes a little.

"You're cheerful this morning." Britta says almost accusingly.

"Something obviously happened to calm your anxiety last night." Abed stated.

"Unless she poisoned the cookies. Don't eat the cookies!!" Troy shrieked. He's still a little afraid of Annie after the verbal lashing he received from her yesterday after asking if she was ok.

"No. That would be too large of a character shift and this is a sit-com, not a soap opera. "Abed purses his lips and considers his own words. "You're not pregnant with Shirley's mixed-race twins are you?"

"Her breasts do look larger." Pierce offers. "Milk coming in?"

Annie just stands behind her chair gripping the tray of cookies in her hand so hard her knuckles are white and her hands have begun to shake. Her eyes are the size of saucers and her smile is forced and a little scary looking.

Jeff enters the library and immediately senses something is…off? "What's up guys?" _Don't panic. Hey my cookies!_

Britta turns to Jeff and explains, "Annie poisoned the cookies and she's pregnant with Shirley's mixed race twins."

Jeff nods and says, "So not much?"

"Apparently my breasts are larger, as well." Annie comments almost to herself.

_Did she just say "breasts" in public? What is he doing to her?_

Jeff shoots her a knowing look and asks, "Pierce?"

She nods in return. She's beat red and he can't tell if that's embarrassment or anger coloring her features. Either way, it's turning him on and he hates himself for it.

Annie has placed the cookies in the middle of the table, but no one will touch them.

"Guys, she didn't poison the cookies, you can eat them." Jeff says while reaching for one. Troy jumps up and smacks his hand away.

"OW. What the hell!?" Jeff looks at Troy. "They're good cookies. We worked hard on these and you guys are being really rude." _You're such a girl._

Everyone turns to look at Annie whose eyes are even larger than before and is staring at the table, and then all eyes fall on Jeff again.

"We?" Shirley asks in her sugary motherly voice. How does she make him feel like he's 16 being questioned by his mother with one syllable?

"Oh this is getting interesting; pregnant with one woman's twins and "baking cookies" with another man. I amend my earlier statement; we are like a soap opera, but a cool one, like The O.C."

"What I meant was…"Jeff tries, but is cut off by Britta.

"You and Annie "baked cookies" we understand COMPLETELY Jeff." Britta smiles at Jeff knowingly.

"OKAY!" Annie speaks up and now the group's attention is back on her. "We baked cookies. You caught us!" _Where is she going with this?_ "I helped Jeff with some more extra credit and he helped me bake cookies, ok? I mean, he didn't really _help_ help…he just kind of sat there."

"Hey!"

"Well, you didn't!"

"I scooped!"

"Yeah you scooped Annie's…" Pierce started, but was stopped by a glare from Jeff and Annie.

"I really think you wanna watch it, old man." Jeff warned. He wasn't joking and everyone could sense that this wasn't Jeff's typical snarky, but light-hearted tone.

"Hey! Who you callin old man? Cradle robber!" Pierce countered.

"First of all…" Jeff yells

"ENOUGH!!" Annie screams and pounds her fists on the table. "Jeff was kind enough to help me make these cookies…"

"Because you did his homework!" Britta interjects.

"…While I HELPED him with his extra credit for Spanish class. He is in danger of failing and didn't want to tell everyone."

"Because you're the easiest one to take advantage of." Britta said while she glared at Jeff.

"I am not taking advantage of Annie! Quite honestly I'm a little offended. Annie is my friend and I asked her for help and she was nice enough to accept and let's face it, she's the smartest."

"And I like helping people." She smiles warmly at Jeff and he returns the smile ten-fold.

Pierce destroys the moment, "Well Annie, I sure could use some…"

Jeff and Annie cut him off in unison, Jeff says, "NO" and Annie, "Not a chance."

"So, we're sure the cookies are safe?" Troy asks. Abed is already eating one and tells Troy that they are delicious. "Nicely done, Jeff."

"Why thank you, my beige friend." Jeff pushes the tray closer to Troy and smirks at him.

"All he did was scoop!" Annie yells.

"Calm down, Eddie."

"Jeffrey? Who's Eddie?" Shirley asks looking very concerned and sneaking a glance at the empty chair to Jeff's left.

Abed answers for him, "Annie Edison. Edison. Eddie. I like it."

"Oh! Well, that's nice!" Shirley turns to Annie, "Do you like that?"

"Ummm…I don't not like it." Was Annie's witty retort.

"Am I allowed to speak yet?" Pierce questions no one in particular.

"What's up?" Troy asks him.

"Well I was just wondering if we should plan a shower for Annie?"

Everyone looks at him as if he's grown three heads. "Oh! I'm sorry, for Annie _and Shirley_, of course."

…………………………..

"That was MUCH better than the Glee fiasco, Eddie. You handled that one like a pro."

"I wish I could say the same to you, _Winger._"

"I said "we."

"You said "we!"

"That was regrettable, but you handled that like a champ, I mean…"

"Yeah, you said that."

"Well I think we can strike "master of deception" off of the list."

Annie stops in the middle of the hallway and props her backpack on her leg while she starts digging for something inside. "You made a list, didn't you?"

"Of course I did."

"Of course you did."


End file.
